An Absence of Parker
by skysayzrawr
Summary: Buffy finds out that Parker's a user BEFORE she sleeps with him. Guess who clued her in? None other than Spike! Will this effect her decision about what to do with the Gem of Amara? Quick story for fun and Spuffy goodness. Season four.
1. I Told You So!

_I just re-watched 'The Harsh Light of Day' from season four, and I was appalled at how Buffy just took Parker's bad treatment, and how Spike totally knew what was going to happen, but didn't tell Buffy. So, I re-wrote it! This is a definite Spuffy fic, and it's probably going to be no more than 2-3 chs in length. Soooo, leave me a review if you like it or if you don't, or if you just plain wanna say hi. We start off right after Buffy first finds out that Spike's back, and with Harmony! This is also before the Buffy-Parker sex stuff, cause I didn't want her to have been touched by that creep! Dealing with Angel was bad enough; it's impossible to just write him out. Or...is it? Hmm...fanfic for another day, perhaps. On with the darn thing, already! (Oh, yeah. Buffy's just left some kind of kegger where Parker took her on a date, to beat Spike up in the privacy of...well, of being outside.) _

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"What's the matter, Spike?" Buffy asked while simultaneously roundhouse-ing him in the chest. "Dru dump you again?"

"Maybe I dumped her!" Spike said, lunging in for a tackle. "Maybe I got sick of her usin' me like that Parker bloke's gonna do to you."

"Yeah, well-" Buffy began, then stopped. "What? Parker likes me. What are you talking about?"

"Oh!" Spike said with an amused smile on his face. "You didn't know! Well, this _is_ interesting. Suspect he's only using the nice guy act to get to you, Slayer. Why else would he try to cop a feel on Britney-what's-her-name as soon as you left the room?" Spike snorted and ducked to avoid Buffy's punch. "Face it, luv. He wants to get in and get out, simple as that."

"Shut up, Spike." Buffy said, her automatic defense. "You're a pig."

"Yeah, well at least I admit it." Spike said. His tone turned mocking as he imitated Parker. " 'Hi, I'm Parker.' Git's put on a whole tuck-your-sweater-in-for-mummy kind of act. Didn't know that's what you went for, pet."

"He's nice." Buffy said, blocking a kick to the head. "He was just trying to be polite to my extremely bizarre 'friend.'"

"Aww, are we friends now, luv?" Spike cooed, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Cos last thing I heard, that was you and Angel- oh, that's right. You two never really got into the whole 'friendship' thing, did you?"

"Shut _up_, Spike!" Buffy snarled, giving him one last kick before walking away. She couldn't help but hear Spike's parting words no matter how hard she tried to block them out.

"Just be careful, Slayer." he warned. "I want you in good condition when I fight you. It's not gonna count if you're all bloody distraught cos some bloke used you."

Buffy slammed the door to the frat house as she went in. How dare Spike try to tell her how to live her life! How dare he insinuate that Parker might be anything less than the sweet guy he was! Still, Buffy couldn't help but slow down as she looked for Parker. Spying him over at the refreshment table, she smiled. Spike was completely wrong. Parker was having a conversation with Willow! It appeared that she had come over to see Buffy after Oz's show.

"Hey, Par-" Buffy began to say as she neared the table. She was cut off by a shocking sight, however.

Parker kissing Willow. How could Willow do this to Buffy? How could she- oh. Willow was wrenching herself away from Parker's grasp. Parker shot out a hand and grabbed her arm, not expecting it when Willow whirled around and slapped him across the face.

"Buffy is my friend!" she hissed. "Like I could ever do that to her even if I _did_ like you, you piece of scum!"

"Hey, Buffy never has to find out!" Parker said. "Come on, Wilma!"

"It's Willow, actually." Buffy said, coming forward and grabbing her friend. "And you know what? I was wrong. Spike isn't the pig; you are."

Parker watched Buffy walk off with the red-headed bitch. Whatever, like he needed Buffy anyway. The only pain he felt was the bruise on his ego- and the hand mark on his cheek, of course.

"Well, Parker's a bigger pig, at any rate." Buffy mumbled as she and Willow went outside and headed to their dorm. "At least Spike admits it." she quoted, smiling to herself. It was all too true, after all. Buffy was just glad that she hadn't let Parker try anything. Even just thinking about the boy made Buffy nauseous- if he had touched her? She couldn't even think about it.

"I'm sorry, Buffy." Willow murmured. "I didn't want to kiss Parker, you saw that he-"

"Kind of mouth-raped you?" Buffy asked, cutting her friend off. Willow winced at the crude words but nodded. "It's okay, Willow. I'm not that bummed. I'm actually more shocked that Spike was right."

"Spike?" Willow echoed. "What does he have to do with anything?"

"Oh, he showed up tonight with Harmony. Did you know- she's a vampire now. Anyway, before I kicked his ass outta there, he told me to be careful around Parker."

"Spike warned _you_?" Willow asked incredulously. "You, vampire slayer extraordinaire, and sworn enemy of Spike, you?"

"He said something about how he didn't want to fight me if I was all heartbroken, cause it'd be an easy win." Buffy said, realizing the excuse sounded a little silly now that she said it to someone else. She shrugged; it had seemed like he meant it at the time.

"Hmm." Willow said softly. "Another layer of strangeness to add to the mystery that is Spike."

"Eww, Willow. You sound like you have a crush on him or something." Buffy grumbled. "The 'mystery that is Spike'? I mean, come on. Vampire; evil. Mystery solved."

"Yeah, but he's different from most vampires." Willow mumbled, holding the door open for Buffy as they entered their dorm's building. "I mean, he's not all super-nice like Angel is, but…he's definitely the most human vamp I've ever met."

"Spike? Human? Please." Buffy snorted before letting Willow and herself into their dorm. "I think you need to cool it with Oz, Willow. All that kissing has depleted your brain of necessary oxygen."

"Haha." Willow said wryly. "Good night, Buffy. And like I said before, I'm sorry."

"No biggy." Buffy murmured as she drifted off into slumber. "I'm already over it…"

That night, Spike played a prominent part in the Slayer's dreams.

"Told you, Buffy." he said, over and over again. "He's just playing with you."

"Oh, Buffy." came Angel's voice. Except it wasn't him; it was Angelus. "Such a naïve, silly little girl."

"Told you…" Spike said in a whisper, voice echoing in her brain as she woke up.

"Gah!" she said, sitting up straight in bed. She didn't like how Spike had managed to penetrate her defenses so easily; it made her wary. Somewhere in the corner of her mind, Buffy heard Angelus laugh cruelly.


	2. Swearing on the River Styx

_Thanks so much to everybody who put this on their Story Alerts! And super-big thanks to Firegirl62 for reviewing! You get imaginary cupcakes! If the rest of you want imaginary cupcakes, you're gonna have to review, too. :)_

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"I can't believe you just _did_ that!" Harmony cried as Spike stared in wonderment at where his stake had been moments ago. Somehow, Harmony had healed almost instantly. As she pounded on his chest, Spike noticed a small green gem set into a ring on his girlfriend's pinky finger. Grabbing her wrist, her stopped her pounding and examined the ring more closely.

"What are you doing, you big freak?" Harmony spat as Spike carefully grabbed a cross with a piece of cloth and held it to her forehead. Nothing happened. So it _was_ the gem of Amara!

"That's my gem." Spike said, ignoring Harmony and her protests as he prized the ring from her finger.

"Fine- if that's all that matters to you, then just take it!" Harmony yelled, hurt feelings evident. "Take it and get out!"

"That's a good idea," Spike said, putting the ring on his own finger. "I think I'll go play outside."

Harmony sighed with hurt and abandonment as Spike walked over to a hole in the floor and casually jumped down it.

Buffy walked through the campus of Sunnydale University, eyes peeled for Parker. She was trying to avoid him, and he acted like he didn't care about her any more, so it all worked out.

"Hello, Slayer." an English voice rang out from behind Buffy. She froze. It was daytime- did that mean he had it, then? Did Spike possess the Gem of Amara? Spike kept talking. "Isn't it a fantastic day? Birds singin', squirrels makin' lots of rotten little squirrels. Sun beamin' down in a nice, non-fatal way. I can't wait to see if I freckle."

"Spike-" Buffy began, and Spike tensed, waiting for the blow that would start the fight. "I want to thank you."

"Oh, yeah, I- what?" he asked incredulously. "Did you just thank me? Take it back, right now! Can't go around havin' Slayers _thank_ me."

"Too bad, Spike. You're going to have to deal." Buffy sighed. "You were totally right about Parker. He tried kissing Willow barely five minutes after I left."

"Is that right? I reckon Red slapped him pretty good, huh?" he replied.

"How did you know?" Buffy asked.

"Well, chit, you stay alive as long as I have, you learn to read people." Spike said. "Or should I say, food?"

"Ugh." Buffy said disgustedly. "Now I'm gonna have to stake you."

"You sound a little disappointed about that, pet." Spike grinned, then went on in a serious tone. "Are you alright, Slayer? Can't be havin' you act all off when we fight. Don't wanna have won cos you're on meds, or some such."

"I'm perfectly fine, Spike." Buffy said, her voice beginning to grow angry. "Not like it's any of your business anyway. Where do you get off saying 'I told you so' all the time? Angel is…Angel is still Angel, okay? Stop telling me he's not!"

"Have absolutely no bloody clue what you're goin' on about, bird, but it seems to me you're a bit off your rocker." Spike said worriedly. She was actually starting to- though he would never admit this to anybody- scare him.

"ANGELUS IS NOT COMING BACK, OKAY?" Buffy screamed hoarsely. She went on in a much calmer voice. "So you can just stop lurking about in my dreams like a big overgrown bat, alright?"

"Umm…" Spike said nervously. "I'll try?"

"Better." Buffy said, before promptly fainting.

"Bollocks." Spike cursed. Leave it to Buffy bloody Summers to faint just when he was ready to take her out once and for all. He wasn't going to kill her now; that would be cowardly. He doubted whether anybody would ever find out if he did kill her now, he'd be the only witness after all, but still. He couldn't stoop so low as that, it was practically screaming that you have to wait until your opponent was unconscious to win, and he most definitely did _not_.

"Spike…" Buffy moaned, voice low. "Stop him- stop him- _stop him_! Please…" she whimpered.

"Reckon you aren't half delirious, chit." Spike said as he scooped up the dreaming Slayer to take her back to her dorm. Er, come to think of it, where _was_ her dorm? Locating a map, he was soon on his way to room 214.

Spike remembered that he couldn't enter Buffy's room about two seconds before he bounced off the invisible barrier. He gently tapped Buffy's cheek.

"Oi." he said. "Slayer?"

"Mmm…?" Buffy mumbled, still mostly asleep.

"Can I go in?" he asked.

"M'kay." Buffy muttered before going back to the land of the unconscious.

It was evidently invitation enough and Spike entered the room holding Buffy. Placing her on her bed, he resolved to stay until she woke up; then they could fight.

"Spike…" Buffy sighed. "Why does he keep coming? You're there but you don't help. Why?"

Spike shivered; Buffy was eerily reminding him of Drusilla and her own strange dreams. Getting quickly uncomfortable, Spike decided to have himself a look around while he was still invited in. Rifling through drawers and looking at Buffy's papers, he found nothing of real interest. He did, however, slip a pair of Buffy's more skimpy panties into his pocket. You know, for the scent. Just in case.

"Spike?" Buffy called out. Hoping she was more lucid now, Spike walked back over to her.

"Yeah, pet? You awake yet, cos it's a bloody pain lookin' after you." he grumbled.

"I think so…" Buffy said quietly, seemingly having forgotten that Spike was her mortal enemy. "They're so real! God, they're so real, I don't even know if I'm awake right now!"

"What?" Spike asked, worried by Buffy's imbalanced mental state. "Your dreams?"

"Yes," Buffy whispered hoarsely, closing her eyes against the pain. "The dreams…they hurt so much"

"Ah…is there anything I can do?" Spike asked, cursing to himself. Why was he asking the Slayer if she wanted help? Probably just the manners his mum had ingrained in him during his human years, Spike thought wryly.

"Can't do…anything…" Buffy breathed. "Angelus keeps coming back, and no one can stop him."

"Oh. That bloody prat again?" Spike asked, annoyed. "You need to get over your fear. Just cos he left you doesn't mean everybody else will, you know. Besides, old Angel's all safe now, what with the soul ownership, and all."

"Why did you say that?" Buffy asked weakly.

"What, tell you he had his soul back? Didn't figure it for a big deal; you already knew." he answered.

"No…the part about no one leaving me." Buffy replied.

"Oh. Well, I just figured…a girl, her first love suddenly leaves her and the next guy who might be interested just wants to have some fun and leave. Guess I just thought you needed some support and what-all. "

"Yeah, cause you'd be the first one to stick around for a girl." Buffy said, only half-joking. She didn't know it, but the insult hurt Spike.

"Hey, watch your bloody mouth, Slayer!" Spike yelped, pride more than a little wounded. "Who's the one what brought you up here and made sure you didn't get a concussion or something? Have I left yet?"

"No." Buffy answered petulantly. "But you will."

"Yeah, well-" Spike began, then stopped. Why the _hell_ did he want to actually stay here? Buffy was kind of hot, of course he'd noticed that as soon as he'd seen her. But he'd come for her blood, not her respect or her body. He spoke again in a moment, and his mind listened incredulously to his mouth say the words. "Maybe I won't."

"What?" Buffy said, looking over to Spike. "Umm…weren't you just trying to kill me five seconds ago?"

"So I was." Spike answered, shifting uncomfortably under Buffy's gaze. "Not anymore. Wouldn't be right, with you all…not yourself."

"So you're gonna stick around and wait until I'm better to kill me?" Buffy asked, understandably a little confused by this sudden turn of events.

"Might do, yeah." Spike said. "I'll stick around, make sure you aren't sick anymore."

"Okaaaay." Buffy said, drawing the word out and allowing it to show her confusion. "As long as you don't try to kill me when I'm asleep."

"I wouldn't do that!" Spike said indignantly. "Not right, it'd be cowardly!"

"Yeah, cause you're such the chivalrous knight." Buffy muttered. If Spike had been human he wouldn't have heard it- as it was, he did.

"Oh, yeah?" Spike responded, always one for a challenge. "I will not leave your side until you are one hundred percent better. I swear on the ashes of the Master, himself."

"Right, that's such a big deal." Buffy snorted. "Swearing on the ashes of a guy I killed."

"Hey- it's like swearing on the river Styx for vampires, okay?" Spike explained. "I can't go back on my word now, it would actually cause me physical pain."

"Oh crap." Buffy said, understanding the seriousness of the situation. Her voice cracked a little. "Why would you even promise to do that? You hate me! You want to _kill_ me!"

"Not right now, I don't." Spike said seriously. "Maybe once you're better."

"Oh-" Buffy said, realizing something. "You're a heartless murderer. Who cares if you're in pain? It would probably help people if you were incapacitated. Yay! Just…go away, okay?"

"Erm," Spike said, grimacing. "Sorry, pet, but it's a two-way street."

"What do you-" Buffy began, before her eyes went wide and she started growling. "OH MY GOD SPIKE, I AM GOING TO _KILL _YOU!"

"Can't." Spike said smugly. He had the Gem of Amara hidden carefully- there was no way he was going to let Buffy steal it and then stake him or something.

"You're so-" Buffy began, but was unable to finish when she fainted again. Grabbing her, Spike hauled her back into bed and under the covers. Dragging a chair from her desk to her bedside, Spike sat down and wondered if his rash promise would get him killed.


	3. If It Feels Good, Do It!

_Oh, you guys. You are my weakness. I had a plan, a good plan. I was going to update once or twice a week like other authors do. But, in the words of the almighty god Spike, I got bored. So now I won't get as many reviews, but at least I'll have the satisfaction of knowing that I'm a super-cool author who posts stuff ALL THE TIME. Sigh. Please review, it makes me want to post more often that once a week (case in point- this story has reviews. 'When Worlds Collide' does not. Which one is getting chapters posted every other day? Take a guess.) Okay, I'll be quiet girl now- go, go and enjoy the Spuffy goodness! _

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"Urgh." Buffy mumbled to no one in particular. "Where am I?"

"Your dorm room, luv." she heard a British voice say. "You've been asleep for a couple of hours. I reckon Red ought to be back pretty soon."

"Yeah, she probably will be." Buffy mumbled before waking up enough to realize who was next to her. "_Spike_? What are you doing here? Oh. Right. The vow thingy."

"Yeah," Spike sighed, running a hand through his bleach blonde hair. "I shouldn't have made that promise. It was pretty stupid."

"So why did you?" Buffy asked in a cold voice. Spike should _definitely_ not have made that promise! So why was Buffy feeling slightly inadequate when she realized Spike wanted to leave?

"I just can't back away from a challenge, pet." Spike said, inspecting his black nails very closely. A little too closely. "I just blurted it out and now here we are."

"So, when you said it was a two-way street…?" Buffy said, letting the question hang in the air.

"Yeah, if I leave your side before you're better, we're both going to feel incredible pain." Spike said matter-of-factly. "Sorry 'bout that."

"Spike." Buffy said, closing her eyes and pinching her nose much like Giles. "You cannot even begin to fathom the incredible rage I am feeling right now. It is so great that I am going to just push it aside, because I can't even deal with it right now. I am going back to sleep, and if you want, feel free to have a nap, too."

"I would like that, actually. I haven't been to sleep since yesterday, so it'd probably be good." he replied, looking around. "Can I sleep on the witch's bed?"

"Yeah, whatever." Buffy said. Willow's bed was in sight of hers, it would probably be okay. Spike got up and walked over. With each step that he took, Buffy felt her sense of loneliness increasing to the point of pain.

_Damn Spike and his stupid vow_! Buffy thought.

"Sorry, luv." Spike said from across the room. "I can't be over here, it hurts too much."

"ARGH." Buffy said, teeth clenched together. "Fine. Then get over here, sleep in my bed, and stay on your side, understood?"

"Yes, sir." Spike said, giving a mock salute as he walked back over to Buffy. A sense of calm slowly descended upon her and she felt a million times better when Spike was back. He took off his boots, put his jacket on the chair he'd been sitting in, and proceeded to slip under the covers. The sense of calm broadened to where both Buffy and Spike both belt warmth and security as well. As Buffy drifted off to sleep, she unconsciously leaned into the vampire's embrace.

It was about an hour later when Willow got back to the dorms. Putting her stuff down and flipping the light on since it was getting dark, she hung her coat up before turning around.

"GAH!" Willow yelled, shocked to see Buffy apparently asleep in the arms of Spike. In her volatile state, the only thing she could register that might have possibly happened was that Spike had killed Buffy and was now doing some kind of sick vampire thing. Grabbing a cross that hung by the door in case of emergencies, she rushed at Spike and shoved it in his face.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL!" Spike yelled, clutching at his face and falling off the bed in his half-asleep stupor.

"OW! OW! OW!" yelled Buffy, a second behind Spike. She shot daggers at him. "What the _hell_? Am I in pain if you're in pain?"

"Looks that way, luv." Spike said, gingerly touching the healing burn. "Like I said, sorry. Shouldn't have made the promise."

"This _sucks_, Spike!" Buffy whined childishly. "I hate you!"

"Not exactly havin' a bloody picnic here either, Slayer." Spike reminded her, still clutching at his head.

"W-what's going on?" Willow asked, hysterical and bewildered. "Buffy, why are you not staking that thing?"

"Oi!" Spike yelled.

"Willow!" Buffy yelled, at the same time as Spike. The vampire and Slayer looked at one another in surprise. Well, more like everybody was surprised at Buffy. Including Willow.

"Buffy, why is he in our dorm? Why did you invite him in?" Willow asked, scrambling for the cross that she had dropped in surprise when Buffy had sat up.

"Willow." Buffy said, voice dangerously low and soft. "Drop the cross and get your ass over here to _calmly _listen to what I need to tell you. Got it?"

"Sure, Buff." Willow said, uncertainty coloring her voice as the carefully avoided Spike and came to sit on the bed next to Buffy. "What's up?"

"I've been having nightmares." Buffy admitted, looking down when she said it. Willow's eyebrows rose, she was unsure what this had to do with anything, but resolved to hear her friend out. "They always feature Angel. Or more accurately, Angelus- and Spike. He's usually there too."

"Oh, Buffy!" Willow breathed. She knew Buffy had never fully gotten over the whole Angel/Angelus dilemma.

"Will, just listen." Buffy said, frowning. She didn't like telling people, even her best friends, about her dreams. She just pretended Spike wasn't there; it would be too hard to tell anyone if she acknowledged his presence. "These dreams are starting to get more frequent. And they are making me slip in and out of reality more and more. So when Spike showed up today to fight me- he has the gem now- I fainted. He took me back here, though I'm not entirely sure how he got in. Anyway, I guess he's not enough of a coward to kill me when I'm asleep, so he waited for me to wake up."

"He has the gem? Buffy, we need to tell Giles!" Willow interrupted.

"Willow, that can wait. There's more." Buffy said, rolling her eyes and putting her head in her hands. "I made some comment about Spike always leaving people, and he got really annoyed- and made a promise without thinking. He swore on the ashes of the Master-" Willow started turning pale. She evidently knew what this meant. "-that he wouldn't leave my side until I was all better. Idiot that he is, now we are both stuck together, and to be even across the room from each other causes both of us physical pain."

"You swore on the ashes of the Master?" Willow whispered harshly to Spike. "You _idiot_. What if Buffy gets sick with the flu or something? Did you make sure that it was only for these dreams she has? There are so many things that can go wrong- god, Buffy, this spell is _irreversible._"

"That sounds pretty bad…" Buffy mumbled. "Spike get back in bed, please. That hurts."

Spike stopped pacing from where he had been by the window and smirked, never one to miss an opportunity. He opened his mouth as he strode over.

"And no innuendos, please." Buffy said, cutting him off before he could say anything. "They make my head hurt. Especially coming from you."

"Fine." Spike said. "But you have to let me hold you- it feels best that way and I really need some good sleep."

"Ugh." Buffy said, making a big show of rolling her eyes. Secretly, she was thrilled that she could be in his arms again, it just felt so _good_. "Whatever. But don't try to cop a feel or something while I'm asleep."

"Again, luv." Spike pointed out, defensive. "That would be cowardly. If I wanted to feel you up, I'd do it while you were awake! And face-to-face, of course."

Buffy tried hard not to smile at his apparent lack of fear. Who in their right mind would say such things to the Slayer? Spike, that's who. She let a smile slip out anyway. Spike was too busy to thinking of ways to get rid of the pair of Buffy's underpants in his pocket to notice. After deciding to just forget them, Spike wrapped his arms around Buffy after pulling the covers over both of them. Nuzzling into the crook of his arm, Buffy was soon asleep, with feelings of warmth and contentment floating about.

"I'll just…" Willow said, motioning vaguely to the door. Everybody seemed to have forgotten about her.

In her sleep, Buffy sighed a happy sigh. As he drifted off, Spike smiled. He could think of nothing he'd rather do than for the rest of his unlife than simply hold Buffy Summers. Except, of course, shagging the living daylights out of her.

_What?_ Some small corner of his brain asked. _Did I actually just admit I fancy her? Course not, that'd be-_

_*Snore*_

_

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**Oh, and thank you, thank you to SpikesFirstGirl and jaimee01 for reviewing as well. :)**_


	4. This 'Top Ramen' Stuff

_Hey, it's author-lady again! I just wanted to give a big thank-you to hannahcakes and TheElfQueen for reviewing. You'll find out what's up with Buffy (this fic is turning out longer than I planned...) and thanks so much for the virtual cookies! It's the first time I've ever been offered imaginary baked goods. So...here's some imaginary pumpkin pie, with lots of whipped cream. You know, cause Thanksgiving's coming and all. Actually, my birthday's on the seventeenth, so I could really care less about Thanksgiving, but- I'll shut up now. Read on! Lots of Spuffy fluffy! :D_

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"Mmm." Buffy murmured, giggling slightly. "You feel good."

A pair of strong arms wrapped themselves around Buffy. She nuzzled into the man's chest and sighed contentedly. Letting a grin slip out, she giggled again.

"You don't feel too bad, yourself." a British voice said and snapped Buffy out of her daze. Scrambling out of bed, she ran across the room before she remembered the vow- not that the crippling pain that suddenly encompassed her would let her forget it anyway. Running back to Spike, she hauled him out of bed and wrapped his arms around her again, though in a decidedly un-friendly manner.

"God, this stupid vow thingy is inconvenient. Why the hell are you so dumb?" she whined.

"Hey- I'm not the one who decided to rub all up on an innocent vampire, luv. That one was all you." Spike replied, still holding Buffy. "_I_ was just lyin' there, mindin' my own business when you started giggling and throwing yourself on me."

"Urgh!" Buffy said, stomping her foot. The worst part was that he was right- her cheeks started to turn pink as blood rushed to them.

"And blushing." Spike added, sounding pained. "That's even worse."

"Well, sooory." Buffy said sarcastically. "At least you can't bite me, cause you'd be writhing on the floor right along with me."

"I can think of nothing more fun than writhin' on the floor with you, luv." Spike said softly, whispering into Buffy's ear. "A bite doesn't have to hurt, you know. There are ways to make it feel…good."

"I- um, I" Buffy stuttered, gulping. Her brain went to automatic default. "You're a pig, Spike."

"Gotta say, Slayer." Spike said breathily. "Never thought I'd see the day when Buffy Anne Summers ran out of good insults. It appears as though that day has come, hasn't it?"

"I- how do you know my middle name?" she said, jumping off topic.

"Oh," Spike replied, one hand snaking down Buffy's waist. "I know _lots_ about you. I do my homework, pet."

"Um, that's…not fair!" Buffy blurted out when her knees almost gave way. "I barely know a thing about you!"

"Well, we'll have to fix that, won't we, _Buffy_?" he said, making sure the girl in his arms noticed the emphasis on her name. "What's something most people don't know about me...? Oh- what about this? You know I used to be called William the Bloody, right?"

"Uh- yes?" Buffy squeaked out, trying hard to breathe at a normal rate when Spike's hands continued their roaming.

"Did you know-" Spike said conspiratorially, pausing to put his head on Buffy's shoulder so he could whisper in her ear. "It was because I was a bloody awful poet?"

"What?" Buffy half-yelled, barely containing her laughs. "Uh, can't say that I did."

"Well, it's true." Spike said, leaning back again and letting go of Buffy. "And I was, you know. Always tryin' to make rhymes with words like 'effulgent'. Bloody stupid…"

"Um, what about indulgent?" Buffy asked, turning around and raising an eyebrow. Spike stared at her in awe.

"Never thought of that, in all my years." he said truthfully. "Guess I was too big a ponce to look past spelling."

"Well, now I know one of your secrets, so we're even." Buffy said, before another thought occurred to her. "Unless you know more secrets about me?"

"Oh, Buffy." Spike said laughingly. "Like I said, I know _lots_ about this particular Slayer."

"Why are you using my name?" Buffy asked quickly, to change the subject. If there was a spy-cam in Mr. Gordo, she _so_ didn't even want to know right now.

"I kind of like it." Spike said, leaning closer again. "Gets you all…irritated."

"It so does not!" Buffy said, crossing her arms and turning around. She shivered when she felt a certain vampire run a finger from her ankle all the way up the back of her leg to where her pajama shorts stopped.

"I disagree, _Buffy._" Spike whispered gleefully. "Look at you, all hot and bothered."

"I am so not-" Buffy began, before Spike put finger to her lips.

"No use, luv." he said, smiling. "Vampire senses, remember?"

"Oh, god. You can smell that?" Buffy said, horrified. How many times Angel must have sensed…

"Mmhm."

"Ahh…crap." Buffy mumbled. "Well, nothings gonna happen, so-"

She was cut off as she was suddenly turned around and Spike's lips crushed against her own. Moaning, she grabbed him and practically tossed him onto the bed, quickly jumping after him. Unable to keep their hands off each other, they clutched at each other until there was no room left between them. Naturally, Willow chose this as a good time to come in.

"Hey, Buffy, I-" she began. "OH MY GOD!"

Buffy and Spike jumped away from each other as though they'd been stung, then winced at the feeling. Stepping back together sheepishly, Buffy blushed and Spike looked away.

"Erm, we weren't doing anything, Willow." Buffy said, willing it to be true and failing miserably. "So…it's totally all okay."

"Right." Willow said vaguely. "You two weren't just about to…never mind. I can't even process that thought, so- I brought dinner!"

"Yum, what is it?" Buffy asked, feigning excitement at Willow's subject change.

"Well, I stopped off and got some pig's blood at the market for Spike." she replied, giving a pointed I-hope-you-give-me-credit-for-being-supportive look to Buffy. "And I bought some insta-noodles for us!"

"Ooh, goodie." Buffy said, voice a bit flat. "I'll get the water started."

Walking over to the hot plate in their little kitchenette, Buffy sensed rather than saw Spike following her like a shadow. Stopping by the bag Willow had brought in, he grabbed one of the packets of blood before walking back over to Buffy.

"So…can I have some noodles, too?" Spike asked to break the silence. "Don't think I've ever tried this 'Top Ramen' stuff."

"Uh, yeah." Buffy said, after checking that there were enough noodles for all three of them. "But why would you want them? You have blood. I didn't know vamps could even eat human food."

"Well, yeah." he said, scoffing. "Just cos most of us don't, doesn't mean we can't. I'm what some like to call…an exception to the rule. Most of us hate human food, but I love it. Especially when I used to eat it in front of Angelus- the faces he would make!"

Buffy frowned at his fond reminiscing. It was true; Angel had always been unable to watch her eat, often looking away in disgust. She couldn't picture him trying a French fry, let alone eat a whole bowl of Chinese food from a package! Thinking, she sat against the counter until it was time to finish the noodles. Buffy poured the water out of the pan and stirred in the spices absent-mindedly. Spooning the soup into three bowls, she handed one to Willow, kept one herself, and watched interestedly as she gave one to Spike.

"What kind are they?" he asked, sniffing his bowl with interest. Buffy couldn't help but giggle as she watched the cute vampire habit. Spike looked up and flashed her a grin.

"Beef," Buffy answered, holding up the red package. "It's my favorite kind."

"Not too bad." he said, mouth full of noodles. Buffy laughed again to herself as he scarfed down another forkful. She dug into her own bowl with relish but kept finding herself watch her vampire eating human food. Smiling softly, she awoke from her reverie when Spike got up to put his empty dish in the sink- it was only until later that she realized her thoughts towards him had had a possessive edge.

"Let's go patrol." Buffy said, pulling on her coat. "I really, really need to get out of the house. And besides, just because I didn't have any nightmares earlier…"

"Doesn't mean you won't later." Willow finished for her sadly. "Okay, well be careful- and make sure that Spike's safe!"

"Huh?" both vampire and Slayer asked the redhead simultaneously.

"Well if you feel pain when he does and he's attacked while you're fighting, you're gonna die!" she explained hastily. "So keep him- and therefore, you- safe."

"Right. Will do, Willow." Buffy murmured as she walked out the door, blonde vampire not two steps behind. "Will do."


	5. I Don't Love You, But I Could

_Okay, I'm back, you guys! Sorry that this chapter was a little later than they usually are, but I was feeling pretty bad. This time I actually caught a real bug rather than the infamous "Writer's Block". I'm relieved to say it was one of those one-day things and with plenty of Seven-Up and beef ramen noodles, I'm feeling better. Thanks for all the birthday wishes, three more days until the actual day! I'm really hoping that I'll get a giant package with Spike in it, but something tells me I'll have to settle for a digital camera. Also, thanks to Cherryll, hannahncakes, TheElfQueen, and Firegirl62 for reviewing! Wow, maybe I should delay my stories a bit, this is the most reviews I've ever gotten! Okay, here's the next bit of the fic! It is turning out to be way longer than 2-3 chs..._

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"That was no fun!" Buffy pouted as she and Spike left the graveyard. "It was way too easy."

"Got to agree with you there, luv." Spike said. "Not many vamps out tonight, and the shock value of seein' you and me together-" he paused and allowed his tongue to run across his teeth before continuing on. "Well, it cost 'em their lives."

"We're not 'together'. Oh, and thanks for helping, Spike." Buffy said sarcastically. "Your sitting on a gravestone and brooding while _I_ killed vamps was a really something I could have never done without!"

"Hey- I do _not_ brood. Got it?" Spike asked, dead serious. "Not some little ponce like you-know-who."

"Yeah, you're right. You'll never even be in the same _league_ as Angel." Buffy hissed, automatically on the defensive. She stormed away before hitting a wall of pain and storming back. She spoke without looking at Spike. "It's getting worse. And it _really _takes the edge off the whole 'storming away in a huff' thing when you have to storm right back."

"Sorry, luv." Spike said, on the verge of laughing. Reigning himself in, he studied her as she looked pointedly away from him. "Why does he still bother you? Is it Angelus?"

"What?" Buffy asked, so shocked she turned around and looked Spike in the face. "How can you even-"

Buffy broke off and looked away. In the light of the moon, Spike could see tears welling up in the eyes he was beginning to love.

"Sorry, pet. But it seems like he's at the root of these dreams, and if I'm ever gonna leave your side, we need to get you to stop havin' em." Spike explained, putting a comforting arm on Buffy's shoulder and smiling when she didn't shake it off. "Come on, luv. You can tell me, I won't tell anybody else."

"It's just-" Buffy began before breaking off. "Nothing. It's nothing, okay?"

"Don't lie to me, Buffy." Spike said, vivid blue eyes clearly showing concern and anger. "Obviously, if you were okay, it wouldn't hurt like hell when I did this!"

Buffy and Spike simultaneously winced when he stalked off, only to bounce back from a barrier of pure pain.

"It's nothing!" Buffy yelled, shoving her emotions aside as she was so good at doing. "Just- just drop it."

"I can't bloody well drop it if I ever want to leave you and Sunnyhell in the dust, now can I?" Spike asked, crossing his arms and raising a scarred eyebrow.

Buffy hid the feeling of plunging despair that ripped through her stomach at his words. It wouldn't do for him to think he had some kind of power over her; it was all just the stupid vow, anyway.

"I guess not." she said snippily. She sighed and lost the attitude. "Look, I really don't want to go into it now, but the gist of it is that I'm always afraid people are going to leave me, I guess."

"You guess?" Spike asked dryly.

"I know." Buffy replied. "I know that it's stupid and silly and-"

"Understandable?" Spike cut in, securing a surprised look from the blonde girl in front of him. He leaned against the wall of the nearest building and lit up a cigarette. "I get it, you know. I can relate."

"How could you possibly relate to _me_?" Buffy asked incredulously.

"My mum." he answered…sadly? Buffy looked on, dubious. "She was so sweet. Took care of me, she did. Through when my dad left us, and even after Cecily stomped on my heart and I turned-"

"You didn't kill her after you turned into a vampire?" Buffy asked, astonished. "I thought all vamps did that? Killed their whole families?"

"Yeah, well." Spike said, taking a drag from his death stick. "Have you ever met such a human vamp as me? I loved her. Still do. Why the bleeding hell would I kill her? Except I did, in the end."

"Aha." Buffy said haughtily. "You just took your time to plan it out, didn't you!"

"I did no such thing." Spike hissed, grabbing Buffy and holding her against the wall forcefully before letting go. He rubbed his own neck, feeling some of the residual pain off Buffy. The cigarette was lost on the ground somewhere. "I loved her more than _anything_. More than Cecily. More than Dru, even."

"So why…?" Buffy asked softly, shocked to see tears pooling in the vampire's eyes. She didn't even know vampires could cry. Especially soulless ones.

"Cos she would've died anyway. She got sick. It was some kind of disease that nowadays, we would pump her full of penicillin or some such, and she'd be fine." he shook his head, eyes downcast. "But we didn't have that then. She was about to die, so I…turned her. But it wasn't her." Spike looked up fiercely, eyes filled with spite and regret. "It wasn't _her_. It was some demon in her body, taking over her life. It would jeer and taunt me, tell me I was worth nothing, until one day I snapped. I staked her. And I still don't know what's worse, turning my own mother, or staking her after."

"Anybody would have done the same." Buffy said, surprising herself and Spike when she laid a comforting arm over his shoulders and hugged him. "Even I would've. It's not your fault, okay?"

"O-okay." Spike answered uncertainly, hugging Buffy back.

They stood there for a little while, each dealing with his or her own private grief and pain. After a while, Spike pulled back. Buffy stepped back, too, trying to disguise the way her arms burned for him once more by folding them and taking a deep breath.

"So I can relate." Spike said, voice still a bit shaky. "Now tell me why you're havin' these dreams, okay?"

"I don't really know." she replied, taking another deep breath to steady herself. "All I know is that in my dreams, you're always there, saying 'I told you so' and Angel- Angelus- is there, too. Always telling me how pathetic I am. How worthless. How easy it was to trick me into-"

Spike grabbed her and held her wordlessly as the sobs she'd been keeping in wracked her entire body. Fat, salty tears ran down her face in endless streams. When he thought she wasn't exactly noticing, Spike held out his finger to catch one dripping off her chin and popped it in his mouth.

"Spike-" Buffy said quietly, opening her eyes slowly, voice husky from crying. "That is really gross."

"Sorry, luv." he said sheepishly, taking his finger out of his mouth and looking like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "Couldn't resist when it was right there. God, Buffy, you taste so bloody _good_,"

"Oh. Um, no one's ever told me that before." she said. "Thanks?"

"Not even…?"

"No. Not him. Angel almost never complimented me. In fact, he never said anything much unless it was 'Buffy. There is danger! I must go now. I know what it is, but won't tell you. Go fight it now, and I'll conveniently come back as soon as it's over.'"

"That was a pretty good impersonation, pet." Spike said, laughing at how ridiculous she sounded trying to mimic his grandsire's deep voice. "Well, not really. But you got the words down pat."

"Yep." she sighed, feeling guilty for making fun of her only love.

"Don't feel guilty, Buffy." Spike said solemnly. "It's fine to joke about him, you know."

"Do you have secret mind-reading powers I don't know about?" Buffy asked him. "And please, don't talk about Angel when trying to get in my pants. It's gross, okay?"

"Trying to get in your-?" Spike asked, disbelieving. "What makes you think I'm trying to do…that?"

"Because. You said it yourself, that's the only time you ever use my name!" she half-shouted.

"Buffy, luv, I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to do that." Spike replied, stepping forward to face her more directly. "I was just tryin' to be serious, okay? Though if I ever have an invitation…"

"Haha." Buffy replied, glad Spike was playing nice. "Like I'd ever invite you _anywhere_."

"Right. Just your dorm, your bed, and your Watcher's house if you ever wanna explain this little vow thingy to your friends." he answered matter-of-factly, now a hairsbreadth away from Buffy.

"I…um…no fair! I had to, cause of this stupid vow!" she retorted. "And since _when _did I invite you into my dorm?"

"Oh, let me think…right! About the time you passed out on campus and instead of killing you like I could have, I found a map and carried you to your dorm. I guess even invites muttered in sleep count." he answered.

"You did all that?" Buffy blinked.

"Of course I did." he replied. "Hello? How else would you get from campus- with me- to dorm- with me?"

"I don't know!" Buffy replied, scowling. "I didn't even think about it."

"Uh-huh." Spike said. "Well, you might want to consider _thanking_ the man who loves you for carrying you up to your dorm when he could be doing other stuff when out in the day for the first time in _a hundred bloody years!" _

"Who loves me?" Buffy said, actually looking around as if some guy would pop out from behind a stop sign. She ran over what Spike had said one more time before it clicked.

"I- nobody!" he answered too quickly. "I wasn't thinking straight. It slipped out."

"You…love me?" Buffy asked, dumbstruck.

"No, of course I d-" Spike began, before sagging his shoulders in defeat at the look Buffy gave him. "Okay, yeah. Ha bleedin' ha. Stupid ponce of a vampire, went and fell in love with the Slayer. Well guess what? I'm not laughin' here!"

"Neither am I." Buffy replied. "Look. I don't love you. But since we can't be separated and I can't walk away from this...I'll just tell you." she took one last deep breath. "Every time you talk about leaving me, my stomach feels like it's being ripped apart. Every time you say you should have killed me or never made that stupid vow, my heart feels like it's about to go flatline. I don't love you, Spike. But I could." she smiled wryly. "And if this vow keeps up, I probably will."

Spike stared at her in shock, a smile slowly making its way across his face. He swept Buffy up into a hug.

"Let's go celebrate!" he said, twirling her around.

"Spike, what you said earlier? You were right." Buffy said, looking at him seriously as he cocked his head. "It's time to tell my friends what's going on."


	6. Best Fake Boyfriend Ever

_Hello! Author here! It's my birthday today, woo hoo! I've been up all night, drinking rasberry juice and root beer. I'm hardcore like that- plus I haven't exactly hit the legal drinking age yet. Sooo, here's the next installment of 'An Absence of Parker'. We left Buffy telling Spike they should tell her friends about their little vow-dicament. Also, big thanks to Firegilr62, hannahncakes, and LoVe BB 116 for reviewing! Imaginary slices of my imaginary birthday cake to you all! Wow, I'm on a pretty big sugar rush right now. So sorry if there are any errors, I just typed it up, and I wanna get it published before I crash. G'night, Sunnydale! I better post fast, I can feel the blackness overtaking meeee..._

* * *

"Right. Suppose we ought to." Spike said. "I mean, with me glued to your side, it's kind of inevitable."

"Yup." replied Buffy.

"So let's be on our way then, shall we?" Spike asked, holding out one hand and gesturing forward.

"Yup." Buffy replied in the same toneless drone.

"Are you gonna say something besides 'yup'?" Spike asked, getting equal parts annoyed and concerned.

"I'm sorry. I'm just worried Xander might try to…stake you or something." Buffy finally admitted. To her surprise, Spike started laughing.

"Buffy, he's free to try." Spike said, still chuckling. "The Gem, remember?"

"Oh!" Buffy said, all but slapping herself upside the head. "Right! The Gem! How did I forget?"

"Dunno, luv. But we're here already." Spike replied, twinkle in his eye.

"How'd we get here so fast?" Buffy wondered.

"Well, we started walking here from the cemetery about a half-hour ago. So, I'd say our legs." Spike answered, grinning. He was in higher spirits than Buffy had even seen him in, including the time he got to beat her up when she was a defenseless noblewoman for Halloween.

Buffy stood for a moment, shaking her head at how everything had changed so suddenly. Heaving a sigh, she opened the door and entered, Spike not two steps behind.

"Buffy!" Xander called, grinning. His grin faded when he caught sight of the blonde vampire behind her. Suddenly wary, he edged away. "Are you okay? Why is Spike here?"

Willow just gave them both a Look and stalked off.

Giles entered the room after hearing Xander's greeting.

"Buffy? I must say, you're-" he stopped short as Xander did before him at the sight of Spike. "Buffy, good heavens. What on earth possessed you to let _him _in here?"

"Giles, I have something to tell you." Buffy said, looking to Spike for support. At his slight nod, she turned back around to face her friends. "First thing's first, Spike has the Gem."

And she proceeded to tell them all about how Spike had vowed not to leave her and how she had had nightmares, and how if one of them was hurt, the other was. She left out the part they'd talked out earlier that night. Every time Giles or Xander would try to interrupt, she quelled them with a look much similar to Willow's.

When she finally finished, she sat in the moment of silence for a moment before Spike broke it.

"Oh yeah. And I love her." he said, putting an arm around Buffy and grinning ecstatically when she didn't shove it off like he'd expected. "Guess she left that bit out."

"Spike, what are you playing at?" Giles asked tiredly, taking off his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Not playin' at anything. Came to town, got the Gem, went to kill Buffy, and…ended up in love with her." he said, smiling fondly. "Guess I'm a pretty bad vampire. But then, I've always been bad."

"Exactly!" Xander shouted. "Buffy, how can you stand to be around him when he has almost two centuries of blood on his hands?"

"One and a half!" Spike said indignantly. "Not that bloody old, you know."

"Xander," Buffy said, ignoring the man with his arm wrapped around her. "Seriously. You have the brain capacity of a walnut, don't you? I can't stand to _not _be around him. Vow, remember? As in, serious physical pain?"

"Yeah, but Buffy…" Xander protested weakly.

"At least he can't kill, right?" Buffy pointed out. "Look on the bright side!"

"What's this all about?" Spike asked, taking his arm back and frowning. "I'm still a dangerous killer. I got my pride, you know."

"Yeah. You'll also have my fist in your gut if you come within ten feet of a person while in vamp face." Buffy said. "And with me being magically glued to your side, the chances of me not being around to stop you are pretty slim."

"Bloody hell!" Spike complained. "I'm gonna be the laughin' stock of the entire demon world, havin' a Slayer on me at all times, stoppin' me from killing."

"Dear lord, the images from that sentence are going to make me sick." Giles said faintly, slumping against the nearest wall and putting a handkerchief to his forehead. He shuddered and mumbled something nobody but the bleached wonder himself could have heard. "Buffy…on Spike…I need a drink."

"Spike," Buffy said, capturing the vampire's attention. "I'm still gonna want to do normal things, go to school and stuff…so we need to come up with an excuse that'll explain your sudden appearance."

"Easy." he replied, slipping on a cocky grin. "Just tell everybody I'm your boyfriend from LA and I transferred to be closer to you. Everyone will go 'awww' and ignore the gapin' holes bound to appear in the story sooner or later."

"Fine." Buffy said, ignoring the interesting puce color that Xander's face was turning. "We should go out tonight and get you a backpack…and some normal clothes. You look like you walked out of a Billy Idol concert."

"I'll have you know he stole the look from _me._" Spike said, crossing his arms. Buffy just smiled and patted his chest.

"Sure he did, Spike. Sure." she said calmingly. "Now come on. I don't want anybody making fun of my boyfriend when he suddenly shows up tomorrow. Let's go and buy you some threads."

"Ooh, shopping!" Spike said with fake enthusiasm. "Just the bloody thing I wanted."

"Spike?" Buffy asked, turning to face him on their way to the door.

"Yeah, pet?" he asked, smiling and grabbing her hand.

"Shut up." she said, giving him a sugary sweet smile and stalking out the door. Spike stood in the frame for a moment before shaking his head, a large grin sweeping across his features.

"Hey, luv- wait up!" he called, grabbing Buffy from behind and burying his face in her hair. "I'm gonna be the best fake boyfriend ever. Promise."

"Hey-" Buffy said warningly. "Just don't swear on the ashes of any dead guys, kay?"

"Got it." Spike replied, smiling.


	7. Author's Note

_Well, guys…I'm sorry. I'm going to leave this story here. I think it's a good stopping point and ya'll can imagine whatever you want to happen next. There may be a sequel, in the future, but as of now 'An Absence of Parker' is officially done. The end. I appreciate all of your reviews and hope you liked the story. It's a happy ending, Buffy and Spike live together forever and maybe Xander can even overcome his bigotry someday. _

_Thanks for sticking with me through all of this! I love you! Spuffy forever! :)_

_~Xoxo, __Sky_

_p.s. "Rawr!"_


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